Friday, 30 March 2007
It's such a strange feeling. Today, for the first time in months, the knot of anxiety in my stomach and tension in my shoulders seem to have just disappeared. After months and months of tension and strain, M & I are getting along well, and even despite all my visa dramas and worry about maintaining my independence, I realised this; no matter what happens, I'm going to be okay. I'm a tough girl and I've been through, and come out the other side of, far harder situations than this. I've had my heart broken, made stupid mistakes and grieved the loss of family members that I was sure I could never live without. But, I've also loved and been loved unconditionally, been lucky enough to have travelled the world, made amazing friends and I love the work I do.
This morning I looked at the photo my grandfather gave me for my 21st birthday. It is of him and my grandmother, the day after they married. A beautiful young couple in love, they are leaning up against the door of a beach cottage wrapped in each other's arms, looking as though there was no other place in the world they'd rather be. The inscription on the back of the photo read's: "My Darling Grandaughter. Life has nothing sweeter than the springtime. Golden Days when we were young. Lots of Love Nan & Grandad." My grandmother had died the year before, and until he died 3 years ago, he would still always sign her name on our cards. Today, I've realised, that the memories I have, will keep them with me forever.