Saturday, 12 May 2007

daydream believer

It's late Saturday night, and after another rainy day, I'm wrapped up and cosy on the sofa with Parky's familar manner comforting me through through the satellite transmission.

I fear that my relationship is collapsing around me. I don't really feel ready to write much more than that at the moment other than to say that I'm okay.

Luckily for me, I can escape to my imagination when times get a little tough. Yesterday whilst listening to my ipod on the way to meet friends, the lush tones of Ella Fitzgerald transported me to a smokey bar, with an Ella like figure seranading the crowd from the stage. I would be wearing a figure hugging, floor length satin dress with my hair swept up and deep red lipstick. As I sip my champagne and smoke a cigarette, I'm gently disturbed from my reverie to be led to the dance floor. The music sweeps over me and I spend the rest of the evening being held tight in the arms of a man who loves me.


Anonymous said...

Dear Luli,
I have always loved chaos, especially the chaos I had created. As a result I literally drove people close to me nuts. A few years ago a close friend said to me, "one day you will want the chaos to stop". Needless to say, she was right. I wish you peace, whatever the outcome.

Graffiti said...

That Ella is great.
the hat is fab


Luli said...

Thanks for your message Delphine. I'm actually the opposite! I've always hated chaos. I think because I had quite a chaotic past that it was always important for me to be as calm as possible. Although, the choices I make probably don't reflect this at times! If it comes to fighting for somebody who I believe is being wronged, I am definitely not backward in coming forward. I will argue and defend them until i'm blue in the face. Although, in relationships of the romantic kind, I will do almost anything to keep the peace. I am sure that I will achieve a peace within myself. I have already in some ways. : )

Graffiti - Ella rocks!

Chloe said...

Luli, when relationships collapse, build your base stronger. so that if they do collapse, your base will stay intact. xx

Luli said...

Clhoe - you're absolutely right! I'm working on this. xo