I fear that my relationship is collapsing around me. I don't really feel ready to write much more than that at the moment other than to say that I'm okay.
Luckily for me, I can escape to my imagination when times get a little tough. Yesterday whilst listening to my ipod on the way to meet friends, the lush tones of Ella Fitzgerald transported me to a smokey bar, with an Ella like figure seranading the crowd from the stage. I would be wearing a figure hugging, floor length satin dress with my hair swept up and deep red lipstick. As I sip my champagne and smoke a cigarette, I'm gently disturbed from my reverie to be led to the dance floor. The music sweeps over me and I spend the rest of the evening being held tight in the arms of a man who loves me.
5 comments:
Dear Luli,
I have always loved chaos, especially the chaos I had created. As a result I literally drove people close to me nuts. A few years ago a close friend said to me, "one day you will want the chaos to stop". Needless to say, she was right. I wish you peace, whatever the outcome.
Delphine
That Ella is great.
the hat is fab
Graffiti
Thanks for your message Delphine. I'm actually the opposite! I've always hated chaos. I think because I had quite a chaotic past that it was always important for me to be as calm as possible. Although, the choices I make probably don't reflect this at times! If it comes to fighting for somebody who I believe is being wronged, I am definitely not backward in coming forward. I will argue and defend them until i'm blue in the face. Although, in relationships of the romantic kind, I will do almost anything to keep the peace. I am sure that I will achieve a peace within myself. I have already in some ways. : )
Graffiti - Ella rocks!
Luli, when relationships collapse, build your base stronger. so that if they do collapse, your base will stay intact. xx
Clhoe - you're absolutely right! I'm working on this. xo
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