Tuesday, 24 April 2007

gamble everything for love...

Well, after a number of weeks without an internet connection, I am now back online. I have previously mused over the idea of connectivity as a staple to one's existence but I truly had no idea how reliant I was until I went without. I am so used to checking my emails, myspace, ebay, doing my research and getting my dinner recipes that I almost thought I might need a rehabilition clinic to get over my reliance on this, the new drug of the masses. Luckily, service was restored before this course of action became necessary.

Truthfully, not too much has changed over the last few weeks. My battle with the Home Office continues to progress albeit at a snails pace, M and I have had some really nice time hanging out and my frustration at not being able to work increases by the day. I have to try and remain upbeat, as I'm sure it will sorted out sooner rather than later.

I guess that coming from quite a colourful past and shambolic upbringing, I always promised myself that I would be able to support myself, rely on nobody and achieve enough so that I could be proud of what I've done. Not being able to do work makes me feel that I am not anywhere near doing any of those 3 things. Then, I start to wonder whether I am being naive sacrificing all of this for the sake of being with the man I love. Am I just setting myself up for a fall and wasting good time in the process? I guess, no matter what the outcome, I can say that I followed Mr Ben Lee's directions and gambled everything for love.

How cheesy. I told you I was a romantic.


Berlinbound said...

Stumbled in here from Chloe's blog ... and found a lovely post.

Luli said...

Thank you! I'm really flattered.